Finding stillness in everyday experience

In one sense, being still is the opposite of moving.  This can lead to the natural conclusion that when we talk about finding stillness, we mean we need to stop, do nothing, and literally be physically still.

Hmm…that concept of stillness can be very useful, in fact I’d highly recommend it as a regular practice, but for me it is not the core of what is meant by finding stillness.  Many people (me included) have busy lives with various responsibilities and commitments, the idea of needing to carve out significant chunks of time to not do whatever it is we might need or want to do can feel too much, or intimating.

True stillness does not depend on what you are doing, it’s a state of mind and a way of being.  Connecting deeply with yourself, inhabiting your body and what is beyond it, and feeling the vastness is quite possible within the everyday.  Were it not, it would be a very odd aspiration to have to want to simply do nothing perpetually!

I recall many years ago being asked to do an everyday task mindfully and picking the washing up.  I was stunned and delighted to notice how much pleasure was right there when I focused on the smell of the washing up liquid, the warmth and texture of the water and bubbles, the sensation of cleaning.  Literally decades later the reframe is still with me, yes washing up is a chore, but its one that has me go inside and smile as I do it.  Stillness to me is about connecting with all of myself, and paying attention to what is present right here right now, whatever I might be doing.  Stillness in being with a client, stillness in writing blogs, stillness in cooking. 

I’m not saying its easy or that I am connected to the stillness within all the time (I most certainly am not!) while that would be lovely I don’t sense its realistic.   The loss of connection and stillness is itself useful information letting us know to pause, breath, and reflect on what’s happening and the impact of it inside.  Knowing the stillness is still there waiting for us to reconnect is reassuring and empowering, it asks nothing of you other than to tune in and relax into it.

If you’re beating yourself up about not having enough time for stillness, or not getting it right, please don’t.  Tuning in is a skill, it takes not only courage but also practice and application.  What it doesn’t need is hours of focus solely on meditation, you can be still in the midst of your joy and your vibrance, your fury and frustration. 

If you’d like to explore how you connect with yourself, with others and with stillness, then get in touch at fjchrichard@gmail.com or on 01325 6051260.