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After a period of disturbed sleep resulting from the natural unfolding of family life, I noticed the significant effect on my body, mind and emotions. I thought I’d blog about the impact good sleep has on us, because it is significant. Sleep acts as a foundational pillar for your brain, directly impacting your emotional stability, cognitive performance, and long-term resilience. Rather than just being a passive period of rest, sleep is an active state during which your brain

In one sense, being still is the opposite of moving. This can lead to the natural conclusion that when we talk about finding stillness, we mean we need to stop, do nothing, and literally be physically still. Hmm…that concept of stillness can be very useful, in fact I’d highly recommend it as a regular practice, but for me it is not the core of what is meant by finding stillness. Many people (me included) have busy lives with various responsibilities and commitments, the ide

The meaning we make of what happens in our life is not fixed. This is because it is not a feature of the event itself, instead it’s something we construct in our mind in response to what happens. The meaning we make of things is our current interpretation of them, we have attached them to the observable facts, meaning is not the facts themselves. Our experience is shaped by the meaning we make of things and the context in which we place this meaning. Context is the larger

I came across the idea of Sensory Circuits as an aide for children to help them re-set their nervous system after a day at school, assisting them in transitioning into the home environment. It proved very useful, and that got me thinking about the application for adults, after all we also need help to transition and to release tension when we have been having a stressful time. Sensory circuits can not only help when you are feeling over-stimulated or overloaded, they are als

I was reminded recently of the importance of connecting beyond yourself for good mental health. It makes sense really, thinking systemically we are beings built for connection both to the physical world and to each other. We know from a research perspective that connection coincides with thriving, while isolation and #loneliness can negatively impact mental health. Connection has many different aspects and different people will have their own preferences for how they connect

I do a job where curiosity is thankfully a core requirement. That sense of ‘I don’t know yet’ can be exciting and stimulating, and is crucial for effective psychotherapy. Every client is unique, with their own individual experience and ways of perceiving the world. For sure there are patterns and themes and knowing this is a very useful side to navigating the complexities of mental health and well-being. Finding the balance of holding knowledge of patterns in human experien

Here's a short guide from Insight Timer that I thought was particularly useful in explaining how you can stimulate your vagus nerve. Stimulation is important to improve your vagal tone, which makes you less reactive to triggers and helps your nervous system spend more time in a resting, relaxed state. For practical help in calming your nervous system through deeply connected, relational psychotherapy, get in touch at fjchrichard@gmail.com or on 01325 605160. #nervoussystem #

I had a testing experience on holiday, and I wanted to share the reminder it gave me. It's so easy to forget the simple things that can make a different to our lived experience, and it was good to have the opportunity to re-learn. The car we booked in advance for some reason was not administered correctly and we had no transport for our many planned activities in a 10 day trip. We managed to get a tiny car much smaller than we would prefer and we used that for our trips. It

A reflection on how much of our experience is hidden and how beneficial it is to uncover it.

One of the things clients most often want to talk about early in psychotherapy is how they can manage their feelings, or self-regulate. Sometimes feelings are overwhelming, or unpredictable, and sometimes clients find it hard to feel their emotions at all. In this article there are six practical ways you can help yourself with your emotions. You can think of it as working on your relationship with your feelings. After all, feelings are messages, letting you know about somet

I have recently moved, and part of my daily routine now involves a walk through the area near my home. I am blessed to have a short walk through a wooded area, currently covered in wildflowers, beautifully shaded and soft underfoot, it’s a little oasis between the streets beyond and home. It has reminded me of the power of connecting with my own physical nature. Just taking a short while to pause, to breathe in the scents of the woods, and to listen to the sounds of nature ar

"Peace is this moment without thinking that it should be some other way, that you should feel some other thing, that your life should unfold according to your plans. Peace is this moment without judgement, this moment in the Heart-space where everything that is is welcome." Dorothy S Hunt I happened across this quotation in a book recently, and it stilled me. What a beautifully worded reminder of the peace that is always available, regardless of our circumstances or mood.

A really good belly laugh can reduce adrenaline and cortisol and increase endorphins, its good for you!

You can live more congruently by identifying your core values, and aligning your time and resources to them, like putting big rocks in a jar before pebbles and sand.

“The quieter you become, the more you are able to hear.” Rumi Oftentimes, clients come into #psychotherapy with a lot to say. Stories, feelings, thoughts and beliefs have been pent up, and the different context gives an outlet for them to flow like a river, as the client freely associates across time and space to tell their story as they perceive it. When this occurs, it’s always a judgement call to work out when to listen, and when to intervene. Bessel can set Kolk wisely c

I felt moved to write a little about resilience today. Watching a child learn to walk is really interesting. They simply fall down, and then get up, and repeat, and repeat, and repeat. Sometimes a cuddle and some #encouragement is needed, but most often not. They get better and better at walking as their balance improves with each fall and recovery. Seeing all this happen with a wide smile on the young face, the sense of pride and achievement clearly visible, is uplifting.

People come to psychotherapy because there is some sort of gap for them, a difference between how they are / things are, and how they want them to be. Sometimes this is because of a life event or circumstance, sometimes its a relationship that troubles them, and sometimes it's just that life does not feel as vibrant or enjoyable as they want it to be. In today's blog I want to reflect a little on the last of these, that sense of #ennui where there is perhaps listlessness or

I came across a new simple self-soothing technique, and I do love to share ideas when I find something helpful. You're probably well aware that paying attention to, and modifying, your breathing is a powerful way to change your physiological state. When you feel yourself being activated - moving into fight-flight-freeze - you can use the breath to help you restore your body into a relaxed, calm way of being. Here's a great way of doing it. Breath in, and on each out-breath,

I learned a new word...and I love learning about language and meanings. So, my word today is antonym. It means the opposite. So, the opposite of dark is light, of up is down, of left is right. Simple, right? Well, not always. Oftentimes in psychotherapy it is very useful to find out what the antonym is for words clients use. For example, a client tells me they do not want to be anxious any more. What does that mean? For one person it may mean they want to be calm. For

“When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you.” —Winston Churchill What a superb quote. You can not be manipulated or controlled unless you somehow enable this by gifting the power to the other. When you tame the enemies within - the patterns of thinking, the assumptions, the insecurities, the fears - you can learn to stand strong and to be present in your own energy and stand up for what you believe is right. When you do this, people will sense it and