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“Power isn't in proving. It's in knowing you don't have to.” I saw this quote on social media and wanted to say a little about it because it speaks of a self-assurance and inner resilience that is important for robust mental health. Knowing you do not have to prove or ask means you can stop seeking approval from other people because already know your own worth. When there is a sense that you need to prove yourself there are often arguments with others who you are seeking val

I was reminded recently of the importance of connecting beyond yourself for good mental health. It makes sense really, thinking systemically we are beings built for connection both to the physical world and to each other. We know from a research perspective that connection coincides with thriving, while isolation and #loneliness can negatively impact mental health. Connection has many different aspects and different people will have their own preferences for how they connect

I do a job where curiosity is thankfully a core requirement. That sense of ‘I don’t know yet’ can be exciting and stimulating, and is crucial for effective psychotherapy. Every client is unique, with their own individual experience and ways of perceiving the world. For sure there are patterns and themes and knowing this is a very useful side to navigating the complexities of mental health and well-being. Finding the balance of holding knowledge of patterns in human experien

Here's a short guide from Insight Timer that I thought was particularly useful in explaining how you can stimulate your vagus nerve. Stimulation is important to improve your vagal tone, which makes you less reactive to triggers and helps your nervous system spend more time in a resting, relaxed state. For practical help in calming your nervous system through deeply connected, relational psychotherapy, get in touch at fjchrichard@gmail.com or on 01325 605160. #nervoussystem #

In personal change terms evolving at a steady pace is a great way to go. Making small changes, consolidating them, and building on them gradually can lead to lasting change that is built on firm foundations. It can be tempting to go for all out revolution and to make big changes or several changes at once. However, anyone who has tried this method of changing habits will likely tell you that it is a hard road and it can be difficult to make change like this stick. Whether you

A reflection on how much of our experience is hidden and how beneficial it is to uncover it.

My business telephone number has changed, you can now reach me on 01325 605160. My email address is still fejrobinson@gmail.com. For #psychotherapy, #couplescounselling and #clinicalsupervision that goes beyond the obvious and comes from the heart, get in touch.

I was reflecting on the nature of patterns, and took a moment to look up some definitions to help me express what it was I was sensing. The two that resonated were: "an arrangement of repeated or corresponding parts" dictionary.com and "A regular and predictable habit, routine, or trend in human actions" google AI Patterns can be things we do, ways of thinking or habitual feelings that drive the way we interact, eat, sleep, exercise, work etc etc etc. Almost all behaviour i

Some time ago, I was encouraged to ask myself the question 'what's good to do?' in any given moment, particularly if I was feeling doubtful or unsure. It is a question that has stood me in very good stead since, and so today I wanted to say a little about it. What's good to do? is a question you can ask with various contexts in mind. What's good to do for me? What's good to do for the people I love and/or am responsible to? What's good to do for my community, country, for

I’ve been struck recently by the importance of regulating nervous systems for maintaining mental health. Working with both individuals and couples, it is clear that when your nervous system is activated into a stress response, it becomes very difficult to make reasoned or congruent decisions. The noise of anxiety, anger, panic and other distressed emotions obscure the intuitive sense of what is good to do, and restrict access to cognitive function to enable perspective and ba

I have recently moved, and part of my daily routine now involves a walk through the area near my home. I am blessed to have a short walk through a wooded area, currently covered in wildflowers, beautifully shaded and soft underfoot, it’s a little oasis between the streets beyond and home. It has reminded me of the power of connecting with my own physical nature. Just taking a short while to pause, to breathe in the scents of the woods, and to listen to the sounds of nature ar

I was reminded recently of the synergy between my old profession as a leadership development coach and trainer, and my current work as a psychotherapist. It led me to reflect on the tools and skills that I used in my corporate life when I was working with leaders. The one that stood out to me to talk about was the life balance wheel, which might sound a bit strange given the corporate world's obsession with productivity and results. However, its not as strange as it might s

I moved house a few months ago to a house renovated over the preceding year. Now I am here, the garden project is ongoing. I have really noticed the impact to my state of mind of diggers, delivery lorries, tradespeople...it's not been the usual peaceful environment I go for. It prompted me to write a little about the importance of environment for mental health. I think our living space can both be a reflection of our inner state, and also that it has an impact on us, we ar

"Peace is this moment without thinking that it should be some other way, that you should feel some other thing, that your life should unfold according to your plans. Peace is this moment without judgement, this moment in the Heart-space where everything that is is welcome." Dorothy S Hunt I happened across this quotation in a book recently, and it stilled me. What a beautifully worded reminder of the peace that is always available, regardless of our circumstances or mood.

I wanted to explore two quotations today that speak to me of the work of #psychotherapy and how it can help clients to heal. The first is from Richard Rohr, a priest who advocates for experiencing ourselves directly and having compassion for the marginalised, both inside ourselves and for others: "So many of us carry a kind of unspoken assumption that something is very, very wrong with us, that we're damaged, guilty and unloveable...acknowledging and accepting our fundamenta

Fitting in well with a sick society is not a recipe for health, living congruently with your own values is.

You can live more congruently by identifying your core values, and aligning your time and resources to them, like putting big rocks in a jar before pebbles and sand.

If you’re thinking of working with a therapist, it’s a good idea to be clear about what is prompting you, and what you would like to have happen as you prepare for therapy. A good therapist is sure to ask you what is bringing you and what you want to focus on. Here are some questions to reflect on to help you feel prepared and confident when you are looking for a new therapist: 1. What brings you to therapy? 2. Why now? 3. What are your goals for therapy? 4. What will b

“Losing your way is oftentimes the only way to find something you did not know you were looking for.” I found this quote saved on my phone, unfortunately I cannot recall where I read it. Reading it again it spoke to me and I thought I’d blog about the chord it struck. When we know our way, we have a tendency to be on auto-pilot, navigating confidently along well trodden paths to destinations we perceive we know. It’s easy not to notice what is there along the way, and many pa

"But promise me something, when you meet a young man…Don’t sing his song, because when you split up, you’ll have lost your voice. Harmonies are the way to go, blending together individual pitches, different tones, to form something rather beautiful where each part retains its own character.” I thoroughly enjoy working with couples to help them find balance and satisfaction in their romantic relationships. It’s dynamic, lively work that often moves at a pace, and it also has m