Claiming your personal power
“Power isn't in proving. It's in knowing you don't have to.”
I saw this quote on social media and wanted to say a little about it because it speaks of a self-assurance and inner resilience that is important for robust mental health. Knowing you do not have to prove or ask means you can stop seeking approval from other people because already know your own worth.
When there is a sense that you need to prove yourself there are often arguments with others who you are seeking validation from, it gifts them a power that sits more naturally with you as an individual. When you do not get the reaction you are looking for it can be wounding and further damage your self-esteem. Remember, your worth is not decided by others and your value does not fluctuate based on what others think.
Learning to look inside for the encouragement and approval that you need is liberating. It puts you at choice about what to do and how to do it meaning your confidence can grow with each choice that bears fruit for you. You conserve energy by not fighting with others for what you need, that energy can be used for the things you want to achieve. Capability shows up through your consistency, your character and your presence in the moment, it does not need announcing or explaining.
Putting your energy into your own decisions and choices for your future is a great strategy for overcoming approval seeking. Become your own cheerleader internally. Let your actions speak for themselves, those who matter will support and encourage you for who you are and those who do not do this are not the people you need in your energy space or your life.
Walk away from interactions that have a sense of drama or of chaos. Use silence. Have composure. Self-containment and self-control are important assets for leading your own life on your own terms. Apply yourself to what matters to you and let others draw whatever conclusions they will, their minds are not yours to either control or rely on.
If this sounds good, but feels daunting, you are not alone. Psychotherapy can help with issues of personal power, self-esteem and relational difficulty, if you’d like some sessions get in touch at fjchrichard@gmail.com or on 01325 605160.
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